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(these photos taken where taken in July of 2013 by

I share them with you from a real but protective lens. I am hear to share my heart and the truth of what we have been through in our season of parenting (so far) and my season of growth through motherhood. Each one of my precious people will go by nicknames here. I won't disclose their actual names for the sake of them. I would rather a stranger not be able to say "Hey Penelope" (Not an actual name) come here" and they be put in a situation with someone that I don't trust. I was blogging under a different name and I wasn't intentional about what I would share. I have a vision of what "Our Dears" is to be, with that vision came a desire to establish some family boundaries. I will post some photos on here of them but not too often.

When we are anywhere in public, the stares are uncountable. We get a few gawks, quite a few mental head counters, and then their are those folks that boldy ask questions... "wow, how many are there?" "Any twins?" "where does the red hair come from?" I chuckle each time because its the first time they are asking our family those questions, but they are the exact same questions we get asked all the time! It's like we need a flashing billboard to pop up over our heads that say "FAQ" about our family.

I don't get bothered though, I take great joy in explaining that our family isn't like most large families. We didn't just decide to have a large family and then voila, here we are almost 8 years later. We celebrate 12 years of marriage this August. We didn't just get pregnant quick. We journeyed into parenthood through infertility and motherhood became the cry of my heart.
I know our story of infertility does have a "happier ending". But what I gained in my journey is understanding. I remember seeing around 30 negative pregnancy tests, I remember how  overwhelming the decision of whether to intervene with medicine or to not and just wait on the Lord. Oh and I remember than the ache of feeling like a broken woman. I remember thinking God must not think I am ready, I remember the endless infertility meds, I remember the bruises. I can close my eyes and practically breathe in the hopelessness in the specialist clinic. I remember because I was there.

I also understand what's its like to cry over another positive pregnancy test. I thought I was at my max, I thought I had more than I could handle with my four children and their ages. Each of my pregnancies came with a story. I am ready to share them, to remember God's faithfulness to us.

So here I am honored to be entrusted with this crew. With each of these little people I have been changed and made new. I am honored to be there mom and to share all that I have learned and how I have grown.